32 Festivities

We’ve nearly reached the end of 2020. What a bumpy ride —— how did we get here? Many had high hopes for the vaccines to restore some normality in our lives, “2021 has to be better”, we all said.

Mr J encouraged me to “enjoy life” and go about with my “normal activities”. Ummm...... “I’ll see what I can do.” Lined up around that time of the year were a few birthdays, Christmas and New Year, offering perfect excuses for celebrating every other week. That should count as “enjoying life”, I suppose? With the second and third COVID national lockdown in full swing, the festivities all revolved around good food at home.

By now, mucositis has half subsided. The biggest, stubbornest, most painful, most secluded, inaugural “big bully” ulcer on the left back edge of my tongue finally healed. Hurray! Having said that, pain was still unavoidable at every meal, most prominently felt at dinner, probably due to accumulated wear and tear of the throat from earlier meals in the day. The pain would somehow make my nose runny too. Even more mysterious were some blisters dotting around my throat about ten minutes into dinner, which seemed to be the source of pain. If I then paused eating for 15-20 minutes, they would shrink and disappear. The rise and fall of blisters! At least the solution was easy for someone whose time was no object —— just eat in phases.

I gradually reintroduced food items into my diet, following the mantra “don’t ask, just try”, with I would say one in five success rate. Of the four key senses of taste, I didn’t bother testing sourness because I knew the acids would make my wounds cry. Sweetness was still completely undetectable. Bitterness was rarely encountered, hence unimportant. This leaves saltiness as the first noticeable recovery. What was it like? The taste buds spent some weeks calibrating their sensitivity to salt, so as to send “correct” signals to my brain. How did I know? Those weeks left me suddenly hypersensitive to salt, to an extent that I had to cut it out from my cooking. Phew, what an experience!

Birthday cakes? Well, you’ve got it, none tasted sweet to me. I discovered chocolate/cocoa wasn’t ulcer-friendly when presented with a petit and delicious-looking slice of black forest gateau. With the help of two big mugs of tea, I finished it, and it felt great! My first slice of cake post-radiotherapy!

My dear taste buds and brain, wouldn’t you also do some repair work on sweetness too, please?

The salivary glands also seemed to have half recovered. You know what, not only nappies have ratings for absorbency, so do food! On my list of “moisture-mopping staples”, bread firmly claimed the first position. Any kind of bread, really; sourdough and crusty ones were a big no-no for me. Closely following in second place was rice of any kind —— white, brown, sushi, sticky —— only manageable with a drink in hand. In third place was potato chips/fries; yes, I could have had them with a drink, but what’s the point of munching on soggy chips? At the very bottom of the list was all kinds of soup noodles, thick blended soups, and cream sauce pasta. Lots of carbs? Yes, that’s exactly what my body needed for recovery.

I happily wrapped up my food diary as I no longer had to watch my calorie and nutrition intake closely. Normal meal times have resumed too, so I just ate with the rest of the family instead of having separately prepared, solo meals.

Occasionally we had takeaways. It was then that I discovered the omnipresence of black and white peppers in savoury processed food or restaurant cooking. My sensitivity to these common seasonings went through the roof! (Forget about chilli peppers......). The peppers made my nose so runny that it would have been embarrassing had we been out dining. I learnt my lesson, sticking to just two restaurants run by managers-cum-friends who were more than happy to satisfy my dietary requirements by carefully checking with the chefs. The Italian one, run by a couple, deserves a special mention. Having not seen me placing any orders for months, the lady was simply delighted that I was on the mend. Their signature dish, sea bass ravioli, is my favourite. It should be a safe option, as I didn’t remember tasting any black pepper. Well, let’s ask anyway.

Oh, there is black pepper in both the filling and the glazing sauce. The filling has been prepared already, but we can adjust the sauce.

Let’s try! When I got to collect my order, not only was it on the house, they also went the extra mile in preparing me an off-menu dish —— pear and gorgonzola ravioli as “backup”, just in case the black pepper spoilt the party.

So, was the sea bass ravioli OK? Yes, I could have some! And thank goodness I had the backup!

Winter Solstice and Christmas were next. By then, I could pretty much eat anything as long as they weren’t spicy, acidic, or peppery. Meals were still completed in phases mostly, which was fine. Blessed are those who can eat! Meanwhile, the unexplained flare-up of eczema from six months ago also quietly resolved by itself. No more itchy sleeps in the middle of the night!

Before long, it’s February. Lunar New Year marked the first anniversary of meeting my ninja. What a difference a year makes! The in-person New Year’s Eve family banquet turned virtual due to the lockdown. It’s quite an experience sharing a celebratory meal over a video call! No more MRI scan at the hospital on Valentine’s Day, instead I went for a long walk in the cold and had my first bubble waffle outside Hong Kong! As for the mooncakes that I had missed out on during Mid-Autumn Festival, my mum and sister compensated for them with lovingly homemade fried sweet dumplings and aromatic “smiley” sesame balls. Yum!

What’s the best use of my time during these winter months when my energy levels have improved but the weather and short daylight hours weren’t the most ideal for outdoor activities? Decluttering, thoroughly going through all my belongings and reorganising them. To dispose of, to recycle, to give out, to donate to charity shops. The majority was to keep:

• Greeting cards from my parents’ friends and relatives congratulating them on bringing me to this world. The handwritten menu for my one-month-old banquet. A 《My Firsts》 diary prepared by my dad —— my first train ride, first visit to a restaurant, first tomb-sweeping, and more. That's how my life began!

• Handicraft given to me as a souvenir by a primary schoolmate who emigrated to Australia. I snapped a photo and sent it over, so she could share my nostalgia.

• Several hundred letters from friends in the pre-email era. I read them all again in chronological order. Unique handwriting led to a particular person and our shared youthful innocence.

• Biology notes from secondary school days. There’s so much I have already forgotten! What sort of biologist am I!? It’s time to do some revision. Which section was the most relevant? Vaccines and immunity......

Also in various boxes were childhood toys, old photos, souvenirs from travel and school report cards (or anything worth bragging about). The indulgence of reminiscence aside, this was also the perfect opportunity to organise things for everyday living. So things like stationery, clothing, books, kitchenware, food, handicraft supplies and much else all went through a proper “audit”, with properly designed “homes” for easy retrieval and return.

Belongings of old and new are a celebration of life, and a testimony to a life lived —— right here, right now!