中Daylength was noticeably increasing day by day. It’s March.
Spring arrived on time and kick-started the magnolia season. I love magnolia not only because its large blooms dominate all branches before any budding green leaves have the chance to unravel, but also for its resilience —— it always blooms the most profusely after the harshest winter. Having ridden the tsunami waves of a major operation and radiotherapy (RT), I’m not seeking another test of my resilience in conquering taller waves. Yet, is there a way to live a profusely fulfilling life still? It’s far too early to consider retirement, but it’s also premature to return to full-time employment.
Nine months into my sick leave, why wasn’t I ready to start working again? It’s all about the side effects from RT. With my dry mouth and mucositis, I simply couldn’t speak comfortably at length in a job interview, let alone meeting clients or giving presentations. Another consideration was my immunity, which was compromised when radiation killed off most of my lymphocytes (a kind of white blood cells responsible for fighting infections) and their precursors. If the common cold, seasonal flu or COVID-19 viruses exploited this vulnerability, I could be in big trouble, especially when there were still cuts dotted around my oral mucosa. Some friends were surprised that I didn’t get prioritised for vaccination against COVID-19 given that blood test result. Well, the decision was based on the fact that I wasn’t immunosuppressed by chemotherapy or blood cancers, and the expectation that my immune system would recover naturally with time. “Fortunately” my recovery period was met with two national lockdowns, during which I only visited the hospital once and hardly spent time with anyone except my own family, so the risk of catching respiratory infections was indeed low. However, if I did get a new job that required occasional office appearances, then the risks would have increased significantly.
And then there’s the problem of lymphoedema around the irradiated site, that’s swelling (and thus, pain) caused by damage to the lymphatic system, another common side effect which hadn’t really bothered me until now. Radiation destroyed both the lymph nodes and the vessels draining in and out of them. The lymph had nowhere to go and got clogged up around the soft tissues under the skin. While the swelling under my jaw was tolerable because it wasn’t too noticeable and wasn’t painful if untouched, the internal swelling of my tonsils (major lymph nodes) gave me a hoarse voice and a rather weird sensation of having something persistently stuck at the back of my throat. I also wondered if the poor lymphatic drainage would affect how white blood cells travel in my body for infection surveillance? If it’s my turn for the COVID-19 vaccine, would lymphoedema render it less effective?
You may have heard of “lymphatic drainage” in some advertisements from weight-loss clinics. Quite many of those claims are in fact pseudoscience gimmicks and myths, but mine was a real medical issue!
With all those questions about my immunity, who’s better to clear them than Mr J? It’s time for a remote check-up. He believed the lymphoedema will heal by itself with time and its impact on my immunity against respiratory pathogens (including vaccine efficacy) was not significant. Talking about vaccination, he felt a little bit bad to share that he had had two doses of the COVID-19 vaccine already back in December, knowing I was still waiting for my turn. Well, I said I would be more concerned if he hadn't yet had them as a frontline ENT surgeon! He also recommended regular physical exercises to improve blood circulation (which helps with pushing lymph along) and as a general immunity-boosting habit.
By April, my decluttering project has long finished. Everyday was a free day. With no meeting-packed calendar or work deadlines, I often lost track of which day in the week it was. Even though I had no idea when the sick leave would end, I did occasionally do some thought experiments: should I stay in the same field and role, or switch? Or be a slasher?
Piano playing, crocheting, cooking, trying foods and resting filled my days nicely. I was looking for something healthy to add to my routine which didn’t require the use of my mouth (then still quite dry and sore).
Local walks.
Walks became less of a hassle and more enjoyable as soon as mucositis healed enough in spring to tolerate the mint in chewing gum, which helped immensely in keeping my mouth moist. It freed me to be out and about for longer and to venture out further without having to worry about sunset before 4pm, or sipping too much fluids (and needing the loo in the middle of some rural nowhere). Before long, where weather permitted, I would clock up some ten kilometres (or more!) in a day, up from what used to be just half or a third of that distance. That’s physiotherapy for lymphoedema sorted then, easy! It was also around that time the UK government started distributing free COVID-19 lateral flow test kits for home testing. Taking the test twice a week gave me a little bit more confidence in getting out and meeting more strangers.
Time to be more adventurous in my outings! Riverbank. Streets and lanes. Independent shops which stayed afloat during the pandemic. People’s front gardens. Grand mansions. Farmland. Woodland. Gently rolling hills. Basically anything that doesn’t have a sign saying “No access” is passable on foot, so go explore! What a whole new world to an urban-dweller like me!
The most magical thing of all was, my hoarse voice automatically opened up every time I walked, without fail.
It was then that I picked up walking as a new hobby.
Despite the frequent walks, there wasn’t much improvement with lymphoedema. It’s time to consult my Traditional Chinese Medicine doctor again. Acupuncture was the treatment. Amazingly, there was a noticeable reduction in swelling after each treatment session. Was it a placebo? A coincidence, since I've been doing physiotherapy exercises too? A combined effect? Anyway, whatever the reason, any improvement was welcome!
Keeping my brain active was as important as keeping physically fit. Writing this little book definitely gave the grey cells many good workouts. Likewise when learning a new foreign language, just for fun! People say that such casual learning without tests, exams or application in daily life often leads to nothing. Well, I didn’t (and don’t) care, ha! I liked how the pace of learning was in my full control. There’s no pressure, no goals, no ambition. I just went with the flow, whatever felt right! Another subject area that I wanted to explore something new was music. One day I bumped into an advert about a secondhand acoustic guitar (in pale teal!) for sale in town. Isn’t the guitar pretty easy to pick up, so I heard? For the price of a few coffees, it’s not the end of the world if I failed as a guitar student and at least I would be left with a nice piece of musical artefact as decoration! So, how did it go? I would say today I “play with” the guitar (as opposed to how I simply “play” the piano), just a few chords here and there, but that's OK! I enjoy the intimacy with the strings, the soundbox, the vibrations, and the resonance.
So that was my very relaxing spring break. If this was a preview of what my retirement would be like, I think I’m loving it!